The Flaw of Attraction.....

This morning I went to the cash point to stare at my bank balance. I've been doing this a lot lately and I wouldn't normally recommend it as a past time. Today however, was different. Today I had reason to be excited. Today was the day I'd been waiting for, I could feel it in my empty purse.
So off I skipped to the high street and its sexy cash machines, hoping my favourite would be free.
We all have a favourite cash machine.
Thoughts of wealth occupied my mind, maybe I'll give a percentage to Charity?
Great, no queue...

Beep beep beep beep...... Balance.

What?...That can't be right, That's the same amount as yesterday. This cannot be right. I've done everything the book told me to do, I put the note on the fridge, I thought positive thoughts - more than was comfortable for someone like me. It must be a technical glitch.
I'll try again on one of the less attractive machines..

Beep beep beep beep........  Oh fuck off.

According to The Secret this is not the way this should be going. According to The Secret if you ask the Universe for something, it gives it to you. Its the Law of Attraction, there are books and films about this very thing.
I've been asking the Universe for money all sodding week and nothings happening. I should be looking at a tidy sum right about now, instead all I'm seeing are the same sad numbers I've been looking at all week!

Maybe if I blink at the machine?..... nothing.
Maybe the machines broken?.....press some buttons.
Maybe the Universe doesn't have my Bank details?...That's it!  They don't know where I bank, how could I be such a fool. How could I be so arrogant to think they would know such a thing.
I don't know who they are but they need this information.
And with that I'm off home to tell the Great Unknown all it needs to know to make me one Rich Bitch.

Of course, I am aware all this is utter bollocks but whats the alternative?
Get a job?!

Dear Universe, my sort code is.........